Are you not having great sex life?

The American singer and actor Bette Midler once tweeted: “If sex is such an all natural phenomenon, why there are so many books about how to accomplish it? ” The jury continues to be from that one, but , regarding to sexologists, among the reasons why a lot of people seek advice with regards to sex is normally because many of them remain unclear about the ‘ organic phenomenon’ and neglect to understand its importance in a romantic relationship. Sex is not simply fun, it also has several health benefits. According to research published in Psychological Technology in 2017, partners encounter a sexual “afterglow” that lasts for up to 48 hours following intercourse. This afterglow is definitely associated with higher levels of long-term relationship satisfaction. However , more often than not, sexperts have to cope with couples who complain about problems within their relationship because of insufficient sex. City sexologists discuss a few of the common factors that keep companions from having great sex.

While communication is one of the cornerstone of a romantic relationship – and sex – it still remains to be among the areas that gets the brief shrift. “Insecurity and insufficient frankness in a romantic relationship is a significant issue that I’ve often seen in my sufferers, ” says sexologist Dr Pavan Sonar. Among the companions, says Sonar, may have a healthy libido, which will not find an wall plug. “ Their desire to have sex might make the various other partner overwhelmed, and it’s rather a major switch off for them. This may create complications in the partnership. ”

“Communication is paramount to a wholesome sex life, so speak to one another more regularly. Be certain to discuss your innermost thoughts and emotions, and do so often, ” says Dr Sanjay Kumawat, a consultant psychiatrist and sexologist at Fortis Hospital in Mulund. He adds that one should pay attention to one’s partner cautiously when he/she is definitely expressing their desires and feelings, and try to understand and acknowledge the same.

Dr Rajan Bhonsle, senior consulting relationship counsellor at Heart to Heart Counselling Centre, says couples fail to pleasure each other and themselves due to an uninformed approach to sex. “ For example, a husband or wife may be selfish in their approach. They don’t consider their partner’s feelings and are just concerned about their own need to have sex, ” he says. Not romancing or engaging in foreplay ultimately prospects to unsatisfactory sex – and, relating to Dr Bhonsle, that is one of the major problems faced by couples. “ You have to be aware about each other’s sexual desires, ” says Dr Sonar.

Apart from devoting enough time for foreplay, couples also have to create an environment which makes lovemaking enjoyable for both. A recently available study released in the Journal of Sex Analysis uncovered that setting the disposition was the main matter people did to maintain their sex lifestyle healthy and content. From the bed room lights to, maybe, using music and, most of all, paying interest to your lover – these small information could help improve your sex lifestyle.

The emphasis, says Dr Kumawat, ought to be more on what both partners want and why is them feel good instead of pointing out each other’s faults.

Dr Bhonsle says that because of increased function pressure and the necessity to achieve professional goals, lovers finish up getting tired and less thinking about sex. “ Despite the fact that they are drawn to one another and so are committed to one another, fatigue compels them to make excuses to not have sex or, when they do have it, it is a rare occurrence, ” he says.

Relating to Dr Kumawat, the most common problems expressed by couples are fatigue, boredom, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. “ I always advise my individuals to exercise and stick to a healthy diet. Yoga exercise and meditation enhance sexual performance, as they are great for de-stressing. Eating green leafy vegetables and fruits rich in antioxidants also helps up your bedroom overall performance, ” he says.

Apart from physical issues there may be medical conditions such as diabetes, and large blood pressure, or in case of women, the introduction of menopause, which could create roadblocks, says Dr Bhonsle. “Diabetes is known to decrease libido in a person. And anti-hypertensive medicines recommended to blood circulation pressure patients kill libido. Also, as you approaches menopause, normally the hormones necessary for sex begin declining, ” he says.

“ Among most common complications faced by guys is performance nervousness. This happens because of stress and unrealistic goals, ” says Dr Sonar. And these goals are engendered due to watching porn, and evaluating their sex lives with actors in porn films. This creates an enormous negative effect on a romantic relationship, says Dr Sonar

“They need to recognize that every individual has different sexual needs and fantasies. You can’t place pressure on you to ultimately match to someone else’s notion of sex, ” he provides. Being relaxed and concentrated during intercourse is important. It can help couples benefit from the process and earns a whole lot of satisfaction.

One method to relax and keep performance anxiety away is to prioritize your time and effort allotted for sex. “ If you are busy and also have a frantic schedule, you want to arrange for your sexual actions. Some people could find this undesirable, nonetheless it all depends upon how you consider it, ” says Dr Kumawat.

Assumptions about each other’s sexual wishes is another main hindrance in one’s sex life. Dr Sonar shares that one of his female patients was suspicious about her partner’s low sex drive. “She assumed that men cannot have such low sexual desire. And she concluded that her man was having sex with someone else. However , in reality, it turned out that the man was suffering from depression, ” he says. The first step to tackling any sex-related issue is to accept the problem. “ Most couples are shy about accepting the problem because they are more worried about the repercussions. For example, some men think that if they talk about their problems, people might think they are impotent, or something on those lines. This keeps them from opening up, ” says Dr Sonar. He says that one should never hesitate to seek specialized help, as ignoring a issue won’t make it disappear completely.